ANTICHRISTMAS

I have been whining and carping about this for years, but this year I am totally sticking to it: I AM REVOLTING AGAINST CHRISTMAS. People, I have HAD IT. Well, last year I had also HAD IT, but this year I have even more HAD IT. And it's not like I am any Scrooge or such; I really like the idea of Christmas, provided it has nothing do to with any actual religious notions. I like the Christmas of quiet charity and goodwill and thoughtfulness and immodest decorations. I like Christmas stockings and hot cocoa and Vince Guaraldi and the smell of fresh pine needles.

But what Christmas reality has been for me for the last umptibillion years is a burdensome solo slog of massive present buying, the baking of a store's worth of holiday treats to be given to umptibillion teachers, neighbors, friends, and service providers, and presents on top of that. Hundreds of dollars in tip money. One hundred Christmas cards designed, written, addressed, and sent. Just the right thing for everyone, every time.

I AM TIRED.

It doesn't feel right anymore. Nobody needs a goddamn thing, it is all just more STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFF that is played with or used a couple of times and forgotten. There is no real Christmas spirit behind it all; just a Festival of MORE MORE MORE.

I want to STOP STOP STOP.

But how? It's not like I want to abandon Christmas, but I simply have to gear it way down. It makes me hate December and get crabby and overloaded and I don't want to feel that way anymore. And no, I am not going to be getting any help with any of that. I have already told the kids they should make their lists and think very very hard about what is really important to them, because it is simply going to be less this year. I would SO rather take them somewhere for an experience, some kind of travel, than buy another pink plastic toy or Super Mario Crack Den Playtime Wii game.

So we will see. My resolve is strong now, and I think it is the right thing to do. Last year I broke down on Christmas Eve Day and went on a buying frenzy because I thought the kids didn't have enough. I was wrong. They are, and have actually always been, very easy to please and they really are genuinely happy with anything they get. They are not greedy. It has more been me and the rest of the family that uses presents to get their smiles and giddy joy, trying to give them magic, a memorable Christmas. But one toy and gift bonanza melts into another, year after year. There really isn't anything memorable about any of them.

It is up to me to figure out what exactly I want to do. Watch this space.