AULDLANGWHYNE
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Here I sit, December 31, 2008. Another opportunity to mark another year past, another anniversary, another assessment day.How I hate New Year’s Eve.Maybe I am becoming Crusty McCrusterstein. I seem to have grown to hate all holidays now, mainly because they prevent the mail from coming and force me to do things I don’t want to. I don’t want to roast a turkey, I don’t want to blow my hand off with a firecracker, I don’t want to buy toys for children who will just say, “Is that all?” I don’t want to go to church, I don’t want to carve a pumpkin...
TRIPP
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I have spent the WHOLE DAMN DAY trying to figure out some travel things. So far, I have succeeded in nothing other than confusing myself and getting mild burns on my thighs from my laptop.Yes, children, I remember the days before the Magic Internet, when you had to either spend several years on the phone to the airlines and hotels and car rental places, or enlist the services of a travel agent. Does that job even exist anymore? I used to think I would be really good at that because I knew so many of the three-letter airport codes and the SABRE...
JACKEDFROST
Monday, December 29, 2008
I think I might make a good movie reviewer, precisely because I see so few of them. Honestly, I see maybe one or two a year, and that includes on TV too. I don't know exactly why that is, I used to see more films. As each successive child came along and it got harder and harder and more expensive to go out, it was hard to justify. It also become impossible to watch movies in my house, as there was always some kind of interruption or toilet disaster or dog wanting in-out-in-out-in-out which made it a hopeless quest for me to try and engage fully...
BERNBABYBERN
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Rock n' roll music has not ever been known for quality enunciation. For instance, there is no more marble-mouthed singer than John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival. There is no song I have ever heard him sing where more than 50% of the lyrics were intelligible. But I am not complaining; this has led to hours of entertainment far past the music, for the lyrics I thought I heard were always better than the real ones. Example: part of Creedence's "Down On The Corner" goes like this:Down on the corner, out in the street,Willy and the poorboys...
PICTUREBOOK
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I just finished a first read-through of a lovely new book I got for Christmas, "The Last Photographic Heroes: American Photographers of the Sixties and Seventies" by Gilles Mora (Abrams Books, 2008). It is, as admitted by the author, a very subjective selection of "heroic" artists, those who devoted their lives to expanding the medium, most of whom I was unfamiliar with. I am always hungry to see new images, something presented that catches my eye or makes me think in a different way.Prior to the mid-to-late 20th Century, photography was not particularly...
CLUELESS
Friday, December 26, 2008
I accept that this country will always be a place of have and have nots. It was set up that way. It is the nature of capitalism -- there's a great deal of pie to be had but it is not unlimited, and some people for a variety of reasons will go without pie and sometimes dinner, lunch, and breakfast as well. It is not fair, and truthfully is sometimes deserved, but in general it seems like the pie folks could be doing a bit more to at least save some delicious crust crumbles for the non-pie folks. At the very very very least, have some clue to how...
SOAK
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Update to last night's UPS Truck Watch: like a great boxy hulking savior in the black of night, the UPS truck pulled up in front of my house late after the two littlest were asleep Christmas Eve. I whooped with delight, and ran to the kitchen to get some treats for the hard-working drivers. By the time I got back, the truck was gone. Like, GONE gone. I went WHA WHA WHA? and my teen told me that it appeared that the truck could not make it in the icy snow mess, went back down the hill, and left for GOOD. No packages left. I waited for the Men In...
ORANGEMAS
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Is there anything more charming that a snowbound slushfest compounded by RAIN? Oh, yes, snow beneath me, rain peeing down on me from the very angels above, not even the bell ringers are out in this.Seattle-ish-squish, Christmas Eve, 2008. I wait for ONE LAST UPS truck to come by with 50% of the gifts for tomorrow. It's 4PM. I haven't seen a truck all day. Sorry, kids, Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS this year, and it's nothing but socks, Tic-Tacs, and beef jerky for you all. Hey, beats Laura Ingalls Wilder's orange and a cornhusk doll. She was thrilled...
PLUG
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I like getting all behind stuff. I am a real booster of what I think is awesome, whether it is The Kinks, the perfect skinny jeans, THE SUN, or a great cup of coffee. That said, I am going to give this place a plug, because it is THAT DAMN GOOD:http://stumptowncoffee.com/I am a major fan of their Hairbender blend, whether I drink it here at home or down the road at the OOGCP with the Hollywoods and the hipsters. It is the best coffee I have ever had, and I recommend it highly. Order a bag or two today, or stop by their locations in Seattle or Portland....
ICE
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I am stuck in the house because of this friggin' snowstorm, more or less. I mean, I have good experience driving in this crap having been through the dump snows in Denver for years, but I'm not exactly jumping up and down to do it, so if I don't have to, I won't. Something I Know: there is no win with ICE. All y'all in your trucks and all-wheel-drives and four-wheel-drives seem to forget this with astounding regularity. Your everything is USELESS against the shiny slick evil that is ICE on the road. Make the wrong move, or even the right move,...
MACCA
Monday, December 22, 2008
Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" might be the WORST Christmas song EVER. It makes me want to vomit eggnog and fruitcake out of my EYES. Maybe it was all the weed he was smoking.I really, really hate it. Thank you.This song by Eric Idle more accurately describes my feelings of the season. Turn the sound up, if you want to get fired or defile the ears of an impressionable you...
MECCA
Sunday, December 21, 2008
It seems to be in the deep nature of people to make some kind of pilgrimage at some point in their lives. It could be somewhere they have never been but has deep importance to them, such as a religious trip to Jerusalem for those deity-following-types, or somewhere from your long-ago past, like a birthplace or a battleground. It is part of trying to put things in perspective, to give identity and order, and to answer questions. A trip to a mecca comes with the expectation of some kind of revelation, that some kind of unresolved something will be...
ANTICHRISTMAS 2
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I failed.I tried, but I failed.Yesterday, I ordered a pile of crap from Amazon, then today I went to Target and spent $528.73 just in case the pile of crap from Amazon doesn't arrive by Christmas because we are getting a snow EVENT now.Fail fail fail fail fail.The alternative non-commercial Christmas I envisioned was lost to a vote-down, procrastination, and weakened willpower. If you buy for one, you are in for all, so that is what it is again. Hooray. Maybe I will cheer up after I finish wrapping and tagging all these things, and don't have to...
EDITORIAL
Friday, December 19, 2008
As much as I bitch at her about it, sometimes I am glad that my mother is a pack rat. She recently sent me a package containing some of my long-lost artifacts, such as my birth certificate with my little newborn footprints smashed upon it, an article from The Denver Post about Paul McCartney with a little Beatle story I had to tell (complete with a large picture of me with the most owl-like glasses, which is just a damn fine look with my very round nose, god), and this, something I composed for Mrs. Durnford's journalism class at age nine.It is,...
LEECHES
Thursday, December 18, 2008
(2:32AM)MissSix: (insistently knocking on my bedroom door) MOM!Me: mmmpghhrhnh…WHAT?MissSix: I HAVE A LEECH ON MY HIP!!Me: (looking at clock, rolling eyes in the dark) WHAT?? You don’t have a leech on your hip.MissSix: Yes I do! It’s a brown spot and it is a leech!Me: It’s not a leech! GO BACK TO BED!MissSix: HUH! (stalks off, slams her door)I remind myself, in my comatard sleep state, that I am not a London druggist in 1835 and therefore it is extremely unlikely that any leech bloodletting would be going on in my house. I also am grateful that...
YES,PROCEED
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Today was the stupidest snow day EVER. All three kids home today, all school districts closed in the whole Seattle metro area. THERE WAS NO SNOW. No ice, no sleet, not even any rain. As a matter of fact, most of the remaining bits of snow melted away. The entire state of Wisconsin would sneer at this lame-ass snow day, and my very DNA is embarrassed. So today instead of increasing their bases of knowledge, my kids did this:-- the 17-year-old, SHOCKINGLY I KNOW, spent the entire day on the internet, and did not pretend to do homework. He got...
MORPHINE/MORPHING
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ray Davies'"Morphine Song" has been twirling around in my head since I heard it played in concert last week. It is from his second solo album, "Working Man's Cafe," released earlier this year. It was written, as Ray tells the story, in the gritty New Orleans hospital where he landed after being shot by a robber in 2004. For those of you who do not know the backstory to this, Ray was living there at the time, had just finished a meal with his girlfriend, and was walking down a quiet street in the French Quarter. Two muggers appeared, demanded the...
BACK
Monday, December 15, 2008
There is always such a flurry of activity after returning Back after being Away. It is not just catching up, putting things back in place, planning what to do, doing what needs to be done, it is processing your trip, tying up the loose ends, decompressing from Aways that always seem to go so fast that they seem to be a dream even after a day. Was I really there? Well, yes I was, and I have the ordered and visually-meaningful pixels to prove it. Ah, time is such a bitch, never enough. It is difficult when I want to be in fifty different places at...
3000 2
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Today, 3000 the other way.Right now I am over one of the Dakotas. The thin, sparse white clouds blend perfectly with the total blanket of untouched snow on the ground, making it difficult to tell which is which at times. It is rather dreamlike. There are no trees, no roads, no houses, nothing but white on white as I gaze out the window below me, just the jutting gray edge of the plane wing catching my eye away. It makes me think about how JFK Jr. died, how it was thought that at dusk he could no longer tell what was sky and what was water, nothing...
RAY 2
Saturday, December 13, 2008
There are all kinds of great reasons to like Ray Davies. This was last night's.Front a bit to the right, we had Fake Trent Reznor. Really, he looked like he gave "Closer" a call and said THAT MY LOOK and stuck with it all these years: straight long super-black dyed hair parted in the middle. black leather jacket. His face even looked A LOT like Trent. But. The Superman t-shirt which outlined the dude's paunch and his pajama pants sort of spoiled his '90s edgy vibe. He was also clearly drunk, high, or crazy, or all, and definitely a jerk.Early...
NICE 3
Friday, December 12, 2008
Where you don't expect it, there is sometimes nice, and that is really the best isn't it? I am in the place known for Not Nice now, and I must say, I have seen quite a bit of Nice:-- friendly people in stores-- friendly people smiling at me on the street-- friendly people in the subway!Well, it is quite something.What a day. My feet are aching but my legs are good. All the women are wearing the same tall fuzzy boots and fake-fur little parkas that I am. I am looking at people as I walk by, at their faces, which I didn't do before, and it is such...
FRIENDS
Thursday, December 11, 2008
After driving hours in terrible traffic in driving rain, walking hours in the same driving rain dodging cars and trucks and cabs and people and garbage piles, finally arriving back, taking off soaked shoes and jackets and mittens and hats, collapsing on chairs, spent...each one volunteers to go out again with me, gladly, to the Apple Store when I find I lost a part of my computer cord, so I could write this damn blog.All for one, one for all, laughing and walking in the rain and the dark togeth...
CONCERT 2
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Perhaps it's me. Maybe this does not happen to everyone. I have come to think that maybe, perhaps just maybe, I am a magnet for the Completely Drunk Wasted Superfan. At the Ray Davies show tonight, again RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, there were THREE OF THEM. I looked around. I didn't see any other Completely Drunk Wasted Superfans around to the left or the right or behind me or by the bar or in the balcony. They were just sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, AGAIN.The first one, a man who looked like the dude from Midnight Oil if that dude was high, American,...
3000
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Today I am traveling.My bag, a bright red duffle, weighs 48.5 pounds. I will be gone from my closet for approximately five days. Also approximately, you could say that this works out to me needing 10 pounds worth of crap to wear every day, including shampoo, deodorant, and a layer of mineral makeup. No, the makeup isn’t made of IRON BARS, smart ass. I have three pairs of boots, a gallon of Chex Mix, and five pounds of delicious coffee in my bag too. I have outfits, fully accessorized, plus some extra outfits if I so happen to feel differently that...
JOHN
Monday, December 08, 2008
One of the worst things about being in public during the holiday season is being forcefully exposed to horrible holiday music. Today it was at the nail salon. As the nice and pretty young girl scrubbed my feet and rubbed my hands with lotions and painted all my nails a very sparkly bubblegum pink, I sat and silently listened to the hideous selections from WARM RADIO, or whatever it was called. WARM RADIO = could not be more offensively bland. This sort of radio station is supposed to be soothing, but it has the opposite effect on me: I get irritable...
SUSHI 2
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Tonight I went to another sushi carousel restaurant, where the items go by you one by one on a conveyor belt and you pick the one you want. It is fun, and I wish all restaurants were like this. It is fast, efficient, reasonably priced, and tasty. I don't have to wait more than a few seconds for my food to arrive. This seems more American than Japanese, the idea of instant gratification, but leave it to the Japanese to make it more interesting than the old Dine-O-Mats of the mid-20th century. The few times I went to such a place as a small kid,...
REDHEAD
Friday, December 05, 2008
driving past me left turn lightredhead red truckperfect match, old blood color, rusty and deepher hair long, smooth perfect beautyone hand turns, one hand holds a cigaretteperfect disaffectionshe pulls the smoke into her mouth and holds it for a momentsquinting into the suntakes a day away from herselfas the arrow turns r...
SAFEWAY 3
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Sometimes it is tolerable here, especially on a day went it must be close to 60 degrees, the sun is shining brightly all day, and I get to wear a light jacket and sandals. Anytime I am not getting pissed on by Mother Nature or anything else is a GOOD DAY. I went back this afternoon to the Safeway mentioned in my very first post here. I hadn't been there in quite awhile, and as I started rummaging through the pre-made salads, the dulcet tones of the Customer Service Girl came over the PA: "Shoppppppeerrrrrrrrrsssss, we have a twooooooooooooooooooo-for-wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn...