COLLABORATOR

In general, I am a bit of a lone moose. You would not think it to see me, as I am terribly friendly and have a large smile. But I have that independence, a stubborn need to do things the way I want to do them, or at least the things that matter to me. Scrubbing toilets? No, have at it man, I am not going to assert all over your feces wand there, go for it. But in general, I am a little like Mr. Know-It-All from the Bullwinkle and Rocky cartoons, expounding my way to fame and disaster. I can speak confidently on hundreds of topics, and in most cases really have no idea what I am talking about. I can slap together a paper or proposal or idea and one way or another it usually works. I can figure out how to do most things, but I absolutely hate being taught anything. I can't even really stand to watch a YouTube video on how to use Garage Band. To my peril, heh.

I have been sitting a lot of years as Lone Moose. Well, maybe that isn't quite right, I don't really think moose sit down. I have been ambling around a lot of years, then. Moose do amble. Anyway, something I have learned, because not only am I Mr. Know-It-All but also Miss Insightful-N-Shit, is that if you want to improve yourself in a substantial way, stretch out the character, open the mind, be better and stronger, is sometimes you have to go straight towards the thing you are not, or that makes you uncomfortable somehow. You have to figure out why you are avoiding that thing, whatever it is. It is part of trying to learn what is True and Real and Really You, even if it is very difficult to accept and dig into at times. You just are never going to get anywhere other than Rutland if you don't hack away at this.

I am dead comfy being Lone Moose. All comfy and confident and used to thinking and working on my own. SO...what I maybe should be doing more of is PLAYING NICELY WITH OTHERS. Hmm. The idea both intrigues me and makes me nervous. The nervous is a sign that I have in fact hit my own nerve there, which means that I should examine WHY. God, I am such a nerd.

But I think there is something to this. I have worked in groups, worked on projects that were not my own design, and done well. But I either sort of mashed it around to be more or less my deal, or was left with this feeling oh if only I could've had more input it would've been better, blah blah. That is not really seeing or appreciating what you can get out of a true collaborative effort. Everyone has something valuable to bring, and I need to be more open to that, and I think I am ready and willing to try.

I get really overly excited and happy to see the great things people are doing out there, outside of ME WORLD. There are so many wonderful, creative, bright, funny, thoughtful, unique people doing W, C, B, F, T, and U things. Sometimes I think they are often like me, Lone Moose Ambling. Just a bunch of single moose, in fenced-off hilly pastures, sometimes looking up and over at Pasture #489 and winking at that clever moose over there. Pasture Moose #489 is pretty awesome.

Anyone who knows what it is like to be in a band where all the musical parts and pieces just seem to fall into place magically, or work on a piece of writing that just gets funnier and better as you keep bouncing ideas off the other people, or assemble just the best specialist people you know to build something from the ground up that you never could have done yourself, you know the value and wonder of what a genuine collaboration is. For some people, this is the only way they can work, or want to work; they fall apart without the others. Maybe the combination of Lone Moose and Genuine Collaborator is what to shoot for. Yes.

Writer Amy Krause Rosenthal is already the Combo Girl. She is currently working on a film, "The Beckoning Of Lovely," which will be made up of the creative efforts and artistic endeavors of people all over the world:



How I love this idea! It is quite a project, and she is enlisting the help of many to help her shape the project into reality. My dear friend Dena (at linkadelica.com) is on one of the panels that will sort through all the submissions for the film. I was a dumbass, a big Moosey Dumbass, and just missed the submission date because I am fail at email and life. Sigh. But no matter. Ms. Rosenthal will have zillions of truly wonderful things for her film, and I will be most excited to see it come to life.

I have so many ideas, and I am so thrilled by others' work. I think I will look for a way to begin working with people, a Collaborative Moose, breaking down a few pasture fences along the way.