YEAR
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I did it.One year ago today, I started writing this blog. A year of writing things, every day, no matter what, and this was a year of many, many, many Whats. I didn't have any plan at all when I started, didn't even really have the goal to write each day without fail until a couple weeks in, I think, didn't have any real idea what I would write about. What I did know was that I missed writing, and a blog seemed to be a good way to organize and focus all the ideas that I thought I might be able to pull from the air. There were a few people who wanted...
EASY
Friday, February 27, 2009
I spent almost all of my life wanting everything to be easy. Like, REALLY, wanting things to be easy. If things weren't easy, then meh, not worth it. I would avoid everything that took any real effort, thinking that sort of thing was not worth ME.It took me awhile, but now I get it. Things don't have to be difficult for me to appreciate them, I don't have to have bad to know good, but good hard work and a challenge is not only worthwhile, I think it is necessary. There is nothing shameful about having to work hard to get something, to understand...
HOLLYWOOD 6
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I took MissSix and Mr10 to the OOGCP this afternoon for an early dinner of hot cocoa and quiche. As we left, a natty Mr. Hollywood, who was sitting by the door with Mrs. Hollywood, caught my eye.Mr.Hollywood: You have a couple of very handsome children there!Me: (big smile) Why, thank you very much!MissSix: (whispering) What did he say?Me: He said you were very handsome children.MissSix: (indignant) I'm a girl! I can't be handsome! (pauses) Was he speaking another language?Me: HAHA...
OUTSIDER
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I imagine that the first outsider was some sort of caveman, and I bet it didn’t take too much for the cavepeople council to banish some poor filthy hairy sod to the cave over, or perhaps the fetid swamp beyond the hill, or even Disneyland. Maybe he ate too much sloth burger, or coveted the wrong cavewoman, didn’t keep up with advancements in evolution, who knows. When you are in some kind of society, any kind, you gotta get along or face the wrath, disdain, or indifference of the many.People learn this very early in life. Preschool actually has...
SPEECH
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I usually do not have very high hopes for political speeches, having heard a fair amount in my lifetime, from a fair variety of people. Most of them are pretty similar in their construction and message. There is a flow to these things, a cadence, that anyone who needs to make a persuasive speech knows about, how to punch important ideas,how to time your words to build, settle, and rise again. But so often the words are meaningless promises, plans that never had a chance from the moment their details are uttered, and you can see it in the eyes of...
FORSHAME
Monday, February 23, 2009
I have, over the years, come to kind of a conclusion about something: I seem to suffer far less from shame, guilt and/or embarrassment than most people. This is a bold statement, because those same most people will think that is in itself, shameful, immodest, and potentially sociopathic. However, as I am not easily embarrassed, I am able to make my statement and stand behind it, and as far as I can determine I am not a serial killer or a bank executive so I am not really too worried about the pathology of my standing. I am used to being an outlier,...
OSCARS
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I wish all the award acceptees were wired with small remote control electrical charges that would start beeping at the 20 second point into a speech, then deliver a taser-like jolt at 45 seconds. Also, anyone with a gown as heinous as Beyonce's tonight would be stripped and handed a Hefty bag and duct tape.As well, anyone mentioning their political cause would have a load of manure dumped on them as a small troupe of underprivileged children would dance around and sweep the leavings offstage.Anyone thanking God for their Hollywood statuette should...
KISS
Friday, February 20, 2009
My California school pal reminded me of a story I had forgotten. I suppose it must’ve been around ’76 or ’77, one of those shitty years, when he and another mutual pal were the kings of the school when they spray-painted the KISS logo on their gym shorts, in silver I believe, and comically on the ass of the shorts. It was a great teenage mutate-your-clothes move. My thing at that time was to add silver and gold star studs to my clothes and shoes. They scratched my legs, but I did not care. Anything for self-expression.When my friend relocated to...
CRUEL
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Not often do I remember my dad being reflective, introspective, or ever admitting any kind of weakness or regrets. I guess that was probably typical of his generation – men were expected to be strong and silent, never wavering in their Atlas-shouldered stance. But towards the end of his life, there was a part of him that maybe once or twice let down the curtain a little bit, and let me see something of the human being inside. Sometimes it was not a pretty picture, not at all, but gave me more an opportunity to understand him, even if I didn’t like...
CALIFORNIA 3
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Last day full day here, breezy and cool, but sunny. We drive up the 5 to San Clemente, to meet up with one of my friends of longest duration, whom I have not seen for many years. He and I met in 7th Grade, only six days apart in age, both drummers in the school band, although he was actually extremely good and I was just almost competent. He was funny and smart, filled with confidence and talent, not afraid of what anyone thought. His dad had a PANTERA, J.f.C.! Such a star, in our little Wisconsin junior high school. In 9th grade, his dad got transferred...
CEMETERY
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I guess it would not really be something you planned for a family vacation, it was something spontaneous. But I am so glad we did it.A kind local recommended that we drive over to Cabrillo National Monument in Point Loma, California (http://www.nps.gov/cabr/) so that is what we did. After playing a long time on the rocks and cliffs and tidepools and spending probably close to an hour just staring out into the foamy green ocean, we started back. Lining the road to either side were hundreds, or maybe thousands of military graves, each marked with...
RAINYDAYWOMAN
Monday, February 16, 2009
I bring the rain. It follows me to New York City, it follows me to San Diego, and it will no doubt be back in force when I get back to Seattle-ish. The upside to this rain thing is that I guess I am just used to it now. I don’t expect anything else. Rain has soaked through to my cells, flings out of my pores, befouls the very atmosphere. Farmers should pray to me.Today, the rain and the sky and the ocean were all the same stone gray; the only thing to distinguish one from the other were the waves breaking in small white choppy lines, rhythmic...
ZOO
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Me: Come over here and see the monkeys!MissSix: No, monkeys make me sneeze.We saw lots of hairy pigs, confused infants in strollers, confused elders in wheelchairs, a sweet 6-mo-old giraffe, A SLOTH BEAR (which is what I would like to be maybe some life), tiger cubs, a Mexican lizard that was called Horrible-Something, and the best bird.WOO W...
PAYLESS
Saturday, February 14, 2009
HEY, PAYLESS CAR RENTAL IN SAN DIEGO!YOU SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS SUCK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
COLD
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Yessir, there is nothing more charming than after weeks of hemming and hawing and research and planning, to get the hideous family head cold right before you go on vacation. Yessss, that is just swell.I FEEL LIKE CRAP AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!!Si...
SAW
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Today, I saw in an hour:That look, a particular combination of pity/awkwardness/detachment, when people don’t know what to say to you, either because they have done you wrong, or you have done wrong, or things are just wrong.A big talent that will likely flourish, even with the poor odds.Someone who was isolated, and desperately unhappy.Someone who pulls people towards him like a rock star, just by walking in the room.Someone who is always thinking about words and writing, and doesn’t even realize it.Surprise and relief at graciousness shown.Someone...
NICE 4
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
There is a very pleasant little bakery in my town, and I went there this afternoon to buy a cake that weighs about 500 pounds in dense chocolatey-raspberry decadence. For twenty-seven bucks maybe it is made with gold flour and angel crap, I don't know. The cake is, in fact, too good. You take the first bite and savor its tremendous yumminess, but then by about halfway through the slice, you are overwhelmed with RICHNESS and your head starts to spin and flowers grow out of your eyes and fairy dust leaps off your skin. You look at the cake and go...
BORN
Monday, February 09, 2009
MissSix: Mama, what was I born to do?Me: Well! I don't know! What do you think?MissSix: I think I was born to be an artist.Me: That could well be.MissSix: What were you born?Me: Hmm. MissSix: You were born to take pictures.Me: Oh! Well, thank you. That's very nice.MissSix: (pointing at Mr10) I think he was born to eat.Me: Why? He barely eats anything!MissSix: Exactly.Mr10: I eat.Me: Yes, you eat. Not a lot, but you eat.MissSix: I think (TEEN) was born to have girlfriends.Me: Oh, god.Mr10: I don't know what I was born to do yet. How can someone...
LOVELY 2
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Well, I haven't found anything lovely yet, but I did have some fun going over things. In looking over a zillion photographs, I did come to these conclusions:1. All in all, I have had some pretty bad hairdos and glasses over the years. Like, a lot.2. I could stare and smile at the baby pictures of all my children probably until I died of excessive grinning and fawning. They all looked so happy and healthy and beautiful.3. I miss the pets I used to have. They were all my friends.4. I no longer know the best man or maid of honor from my wedding.5....
LOVELY
Saturday, February 07, 2009
What a thought. Opportunity has reopened, and I must now quickly contemplate this thought: what have I made that is lovely? Have I indeed made anything lovely, outside of my attractive-looking spawn?Hmmm.HMMM.It is really pushing my thoughts around. What is lovely, anyway? Have I made anything like that, something touching and beautiful and precious? That is what seems lovely to me. Am I that person who can do that? Or not?Lovely can be charming, or heartbreaking, simple or complex. But it is no small thing. I hold something that is lovely to the...
INDIE
Friday, February 06, 2009
I guess one way or another, however you want to term it, I have been listening to indie music almost all my life: “underground” music on FM stations in the 60s, the rise of punk/new wave on college and public radio stations in the 70s, then the broader “indie/alternative” that found its various media niches from the 80s until the present day. I have always liked to hear things that are different, away from what I expect somehow, something that grabs my ear. I very much like the DIY aspect of indie music, that there isn’t some soulless Blandinator...
LUX
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Lux Interior of the wonderful and seminal garage punk psychobilly band The Cramps died yesterday. He was 62. This makes me very sad, but I celebrate his long, strange, and very unique career. I sort of got to see The Cramps once when they played in Milwaukee. It is such a blur in my mind now but what I do recall are just a few details. I had never been to the venue they were playing that night, the punkiest dive in Milwaukee at the time, and in a rather rough spot downtown. It was winter, a girlfriend and I started out late to begin with, got incredibly...
FUEL
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Another Wednesday lunch out with the teen. Today we went to the local Greek diner, which as you would suspect, offered of kind of mashup of Greek/breakfast/lunch staples. My son was trying to get me to order some gyros but as I had not had any breakfast nor coffee yet I settled for the reliable tuna melt. I drank down the coffee as fast as they would return to fill the bright green chipped mug. Fuel.Teen was in a good mood today and his eyes danced and sparkled as we discussed the latest funny stuff going on. I told him an old story about being...
ROCKERCHAIR
Monday, February 02, 2009
As frequently seen here and in my daily life, I think very often about change and time and the meaning and weight of change and time. This is not just a function of Midlife Questioning; I have thought about it all my life, the idea that you are constantly changing, time is moving, if you are headed in a purposeful direction, that there is a function to all the movement other than biology and the regulation of the solar system.This, naturally, leads me to think about rock n' roll. Granted, a donut or a dust bunny or a rock itself can get me to think...
CORN
Sunday, February 01, 2009
My daughter came over to me, opening her tiny palm to show me five unpopped popcorn kernels. I don't even ask her where she got five unpopped popcorn kernels. Best to not know.MissSix: I am going to grow some corn.Me: Ah. Good.MissSix: I just wanted to let you know that.Me: Well, I am glad you told me. I hope you have fun.MissSix: It will be nice for us to have corn.Me: Mmm hmm.I could have told her about the futility of corn-growing on the first day of February in the Puget Sound area of the country, and this did flash through my mind, but I did...