WARNING

To: Couch Teen

From: Mom

Re: towels

This is official notice to inform you that if you attempt to co-opt my brand-new beautiful fluffy white Waverley bath towels with the satiny scroll inset for your own personal use, I will take said towels and ram them down your gullet with a pre-Civil War musket. Thank you for your co-operation in this matter.

Sincerely,

Mom