YOINK

Jessica Simpson's dog was snatched by a coyote.

"Simpson, 29, has offered a reward to anyone who can reunite her with her 5-year-old, caramel-colored dog."

I suggest that Daisy's color will remain in the caramel tones even after the coyote has digested her and reduced her essence to scat. May I still collect a reward if I put a rhinestone collar and leash on that? Would Jessica carry around the box of coyote waste to premiers and stuff, all cuddling up to it for photo ops?

"Yes, everyone, this is Daisy, my Maltipoop, isn't she precious?"