MOREHOUSE

Oh boy. Morehouse College, an all-male historically black institute of learning in Atlanta, home to alumni Martin Luther King Jr., Julian Bond, Spike Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Louis W. Sullivan and others, has decided NO ONE GETS TO CROSS-DRESS ANYMORE. NO NO NO. NONE OF THAT. STOP THAT.

Dr. William Bynum, vice president for Student Services at Morehouse:

"We are talking about five students who are living a gay lifestyle that is leading them to dress a way we do not expect in Morehouse men.”

Uh oh. Dr. Bynum, expect a lawsuit. You might as well have said, “Hey, you! Stop being so obviously GAY! GOD!” I understand Morehouse is a private college, but this is just buying trouble. Covering up the college’s discomfort with seeing a black man walk around in a dress and heels to class, which does just generally scream, “I ENJOY SEX WITH MEN!", Morehouse also added other things to the new dress code including no hats to class, no do-rags, no PJ’s, and no saggy-ass pants. So, no obvious gay men and no obvious wannabe-gangstas. NONE OF THAT. STOP THAT. All of these men were admitted to Morehouse, I assume, on their outstanding academic and personal merits, which seems quite a bit more important that some possibly questionable taste in clothing. Perhaps the admissions form should contain a few other questions: Do you own a pair of Size 13 spike heels or any gold teeth grilles? Have you ever belted your pants at the knee? Have you spent more than $20 on blush this year? Do you “tuck?” Do you frequent Chippendale’s and/or have been shot?

There’s some fun to be had here. I suggest celebrities RuPaul and Flavor Flav make donations of one million dollars each to Morehouse, with the caveat that the money is to be used for “The RuPaul Center For Historically-Black Tolerance & Understanding” and “Yeah Boieeee! STD Drive-By Clinic.”