BLOTTER 5

It's been a busy fall in Small Town, USA! Time for another police blotter review!

THINKING IS GOOD

Threat: Police arrested a 75-year-old Islander for harassing and threatening to kill a tow truck driver during an argument over the price that he was getting charged for towing his car to his house around 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 19 in the 5100 block of 90th Avenue S.E.

Disorderly conduct: 1:09 a.m., 15 Lake Street. A 27-year-old Tacoma man, who was highly intoxicated, thought it would be a good idea to stand on Lake Street and lift his shirt at passing cars. After seeing him nearly get hit, a police officer attempted to escort him to the sidewalk. The man became agitated and took an aggressive stance and refused to be handcuffed.

Theft: Police picked up a woman detained by Marshall’s security for concealing items on her person, in a stroller, and in the backpacks of her two small children. According to the report, while reviewing video footage of the incident, Kamalie Gonzalez, 33, spontaneously stated, “I’m so stupid! I can’t believe I did this again! I’m on probation; their father doesn’t help me pay for anything”. Gonzalez was charged with felony retail theft.

MY GOD! HELL IN A HANDBASKET!

Burglary: The Sportsmen’s Club clubhouse was the victim of an overnight burglary. It appeared that a side door to the clubhouse had been forced open with a crow bar-type tool, which had dislodged the doorjamb from the door frame. A padlock securing a utility closet inside had also been cut. Nothing was discovered missing or out of place at the club. No suspects.

Theft: On Nov. 21 someone pried open a window on S.E. 272 place and stole items.

Damage: An office door was reported damaged at Dr. Martin Luther Church, 325 S. Main St., on Oct. 4.

According to the police report, a secretary came to work to find the door to her office kicked in. Nothing was discovered missing and the church safe was not compromised.

Burglary: A resident called police to report a burglary to their garage.

Jody J. Vandenberg, 613 Westover St., told authorities that someone entered his garage and the two vehicles housed inside. Both the garage and vehicles were unlocked. The glove boxes of the vehicles were opened and the contents removed, but nothing of value was reported missing.

Theft: Flocks of flamingos were filched recently from several locations in the City.

According to the police report, the pink flamingos were used as a fundraiser for St. Jerome Church. There were five sets of six each and were taken from 506 W. Wisconsin Ave., 524 W. LaBelle Ave., 434 N. Lake Road, 213 Locust St., and 629 N. Lake Road, sometime between 10 p.m. on Nov. 5 and 10 a.m. on Nov. 7.

Theft: A ladder was stolen from the back yard of a house in the 1200 block of Scoville.

Theft: Someone stole a 16-year-old Buick from the 3100 block of Euclid.

CRIMINAL YESSING

Theft: Police were notified recently that five "vote no" signs regarding the dredging referendum were stolen in the city.

“HELLO, TIM? YOU STINK AND…TIM? IS YOUR STUPID PHONE DEAD?”

Theft: Police cited Timothy Gropp, 18, of Milwaukee, and a 17-year-old City of Oconomowoc girl Oct. 16 for retail theft from Walmart, 2863 Heritage Drive.

According to the report, Gropp stole a cell phone converter, cell phone charger and deodorant from the store. Gropp was stopped by store personnel but ran out of the store.

Police found him a short time later.

The value of the items was listed at about $33.

The girl acted as a lookout for Gropp, the report said.

OH, DEER

???: Hanover Police received a report that two dogs were chasing deer in the Hanover area. Officers investigated the incident, but the dogs were not found.

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY ART, MAN

Graffiti: Police saw two males in dark clothing walking near 23rd and Harvey. When asked where they were headed, the two gave differing stories; they had no ID, and the names they gave were run through the system with negative results. One man— a 17-year-old from the 6600 block of 28th St—kept putting his hands in his pocket and playing with something, which turned out to a spray-can cap. His hands were also covered with fresh black, white and blue spray paint. The second man—a 17-year-old from the 1900 block of Oak Park—also had fresh paint on his hands. The first man told police they met up around 10 PM near “Halsted and the Orange Line” in order to “tag” along the train tracks.

Graffiti: A woman told police she saw a man spraying graffiti onto a garage in the 7000 block of 16th; another resident stated a man on a bicycle, yelling gang slogans and the phrase “Ghost Face!” had just left the area. Police found a man matching the witnesses’ description and bearing gold, still-wet, spray paint on both hands. Jesse Manrique, 18, of 2118 Wenonah, was charged with criminal damage to property.

Damage: A woman told police she was driving her SUV near 26th and Harvey when two males shot her vehicle with four pink paintballs, then ran away.

Graffiti: Graffiti in the 3825 block of Scoville could be read as encouragement for a distance runner: “F&*% You Hoe! [gang slogan] Run Up Hoe!”

YOUR FRIENDS SUCK

Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of Elmwood told police that, over Halloween weekend, she realized someone had entered her bedroom and stolen her jewelry. Coincidentally, the victim said, she had hosted a party for her friends on Halloween.

Theft: A man in the 1900 block of Grove told police he gave a dinner party during which some of his gold jewelry vanished. Reported stolen were a gold ring valued at $400; a a $400 gold bracelet; a two-carat diamond ring valued at $1,200; a pair of gold and diamond earrings valued at $1,150; and a class ring worth $500.

PEOPLE ARE UPSET AND ARE USING INDELICATE LANGUAGE

Assault: A police officer heard loud music pounding from an apartment near Wesley and Vacin and shined his spotlight on the window. A man’s voice called out “Shut that f^&*ing light off, you mother f&*#er!” When the cop identified himself as a Berwyn police officer, the voice allegedly replied, “I don’t give a f*&@ who you are! Turn that f*&@in light off,” and “F*&@ you. I don’t care who you are, I’ll listen to my music when I want to.” A man —appearing highly intoxicated—exited the apartment and approached the officer in a hostile manner while yelling obscenities. After a struggle, the officer handcuffed Fernando R. Razzino and brought him to the police station. He was charged with assault and resisting arrest.

Disorderly: Ticketing cops ruffled a traffic violator’s feathers when they mistook her for a man. A driver began to argue with a community service officer who was ticketing near Jefferson Elementary school in 7000 block of 16th St. A responding police officer overheard the driver yelling and dropping F-bombs “in a low voice”, so --observing that the driver had “short combed back hair and a visible mustache”—told the ticketing cop “write this guy a local ordinance citation.” The driver, who turned out to be a 25 year old woman with two children in the back seat —yelled out the window, “I’m a girl!” She told the officers “I’m going to tell [your supervisors] that you called me a dyke!” The officers denied using that word. The driver, a resident of the 2600 block of Oak Park, yelled, “You’re lying!” and drove away.

CHUCKY, THE ANTI-GARBAGE DOG

Assault: A man told police he was taking out the trash in the 1900 block of Grove when he heard his downstairs neighbor’s voice ordering his dog to “sic ‘em.” The white pitbull, named “Chucky,” bit him once in the leg above the ankle. Police brought the victim to MacNeal Hospital where he got seven stitches. Police records indicated Chucky had come to attention twice previously for biting someone else and for lack of registration.

And my favorite from this time around…

SATAN IS SURLY

DUI: Oct. 29, 12:55 a.m., 900 Fifth Street. While on scene at a hit and run, a police officer observed a male drive up and stagger out of his car to assist the officer in locating the involved parties. The 27-year-old Kirkland man was intoxicated and refused a blood alcohol test. He was arrested for DUI. The man identified himself as “The Devil” and was altogether uncooperative. He ultimately provided a blood alcohol sample of .145.