1:30AM: Go to bed. Despite not being over-caffeinated nor riddled with perseverant thoughts, realize I am simply not that tired. Possibly doze on and off eventually.
3:16AM: Smell something burning, then smell something sweet, then hear banging and clanging. Couch Teen baking chocolate chip cookies. Frown in the dark. Doze.
5:09AM: Awakened by loud rain. Frown extra hard in semi-lifting-dark. Get up and pee. Go back to bed and wait for the alarm.
7AM: Alarm goes off, 3 minutes after I finally doze off again. Sit on side of bed and announce to the air, “Well, THAT sucked,” and go to wake up Mr11 and Miss Seven. Miss Seven proves difficult to rouse. “The airplanes kept me awake all night, “ she complains into her pillow, “I hate airplanes!” “Well, whaddya gonna do, “ I say flatly, and help her get dressed for school.
7:15AM: Serve breakfast. Miss Seven complains that Multi-Grain Cheerios taste like peanut butter. Mr11 likes this, and slurps his bowl down with gusto. Dog eyes the kids’ link sausages. I tell the them to eat their blueberries because they are high in antioxidants. No one listens as I explain the benefits of antioxidants.
7:22AM: Dog wants to go outside, looks at pouring rain, balks. She looks at me piteously. “Well, whaddya gonna do,” I say flatly, as she harrumphs to the floor in resignation.
7:24AM: Get dressed in black sweats. Brush my hair and teeth, with different brushes for each, a triumph. Spend 17 seconds on makeup. Frown at face in mirror. Decide not to care.
7:30AM: Clean for the cleaners. Put away leftover chocolate chip cookies left on the cookie sheet by Couch Teen. Put out sheets for all the bedrooms. Find MissSeven’s school folder. Remind Mr11 to pack his laptop. Harangue children to finish eating, brush their teeth, brush their hair, get their jackets and backpacks. Two tasks on the list are completed, possibly. MissSeven complains that all her shoes don’t fit and stomps around because she wants to wear her fuzzy boots instead. I remind her that shoes are required in school. Reprimand Mr11 for teasing MissSeven about her tardiness this morning. Say goodbyehaveagoodday.
7:56AM: Cleaners due to arrive in four minutes. Make a pot of coffee. Start drinking coffee and reading email. Hope to return to bed for a nap by 10AM to fuel the busy runaround second-half of the day.
8:48AM: Notice that cleaners are way late. Frown. Think about calling them, but don’t. Laugh at a funny picture on Facebook. Notice left eye is bothering me. Blink a lot. Start revisiting travel websites for three upcoming trips. Yawn. Blink more. Think harder about calling again. Get caught up in reading the interhoot.
10:06AM: Cleaners finally arrive, apologize for lateness, I say, no problem. Cleaners greet dog for 5 minutes. I get more coffee and return to computer.
11:52AM: After looking at Fodors, Frommers, FamilyFun, FrequentFlyers, Points.Com, Com.Points, Dot.Com, BargainsBargainsBargains, BrainLiquidators, StarwoodWorldMilesPassportGoldHappyFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckVacations and not really getting anywhere, I decide to go upstairs in my now-cleaned bedroom to read. The book is about vacationing with children. Blink more, get up and go to bathroom to see what in the hell is going on with my eye. Spot small bump on inner eyelid. Swear, frown. Put book down to try to nap. Eye still irritated when closed. Pull fuzzy blanket over self.
12:15PM: Awakened by “MARIANNA! WE ARE DONE! WE CLEAN YOUR REFRIGERATOR THIS TIME! SEE YOU!” I yell a hearty if somewhat garbled “THANK YOU!” and try to return to sleep. Rain gets way louder.
12:35PM: Phone rings. Check Caller ID: “COMCAST.” “Oh, fuck YOU, Comcast!” I say to the air. I lie down again. I start to think about travel stuff again, and the pounding rain, and that I need to shower and actually get a few things done before getting the kids.
1:30PM: I give up trying to nap, come downstairs and write this. Well, whaddya gonna do, I say to myself, flatly.
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman