COPYRIGHT THIS RIGHT HERE, BUDDY

I have finished a new song. Let those Ricola commercial Swiss horn things feebly bleat the news from every mountain, ford some streams, reach your dreams, blah blah blah, Sound of Music, nuns, Nazis, curtain clothes, blah. Ever try using the online U.S. Copyright Office site to register new works? HAVE YOU? J.F.C., it's one of the worst, buggiest, most confoundingly governmental messes I ever have to deal with on a semi-annual basis. I think their site code was written by an ape in an ill-fitting suit from Primate Wearhouse, and their password rules composed by an ex-C.I.A. agent with incredibly-painful chronic hemorrhoids and an inability to score with a live human of any determinate gender.

Look at this insanity:

Library of Congress - Password Policy Requirements

Each person using the Electronic Copyright Office System, eCO, must comply with the following:

Minimum password length must be 8 characters and consist of at least 2 alpha characters, 1 number and 1 special character (but not an ampersand - &).

A password must have no consecutive repeated characters.

A password must not include your user name or any part thereof.

A password must not include the names of a spouse, children, pets or one's own name.

A password must not include any regional sports teams or players.

A password must not include any office symbols.

A password must not include your social security number or any subset of your social security number that is more than a single number.

A password must not include words that can be found in any dictionary, whether English or any language.

A password must not be any of the 11 most recently used passwords for the account.

Every user with an account on a Library of Congress system including eCO is responsible for safeguarding access to that account.

A password must not ever be shared with anyone.

An account owner can change his or her password at any time, but at a maximum of once per day.

An account owner must change his or her password when prompted by the system.

GOOD GOD. Not only does the place not remember that YES, I HAVE REGISTERED STUFF WITH THE SAME NAME AND INFO FOR YEARS, but it doesn't even tell me how or why the new password has been rejected. BITE ME, FED E-BRARIANS!

If I stroke out over this, have a beer in my honor with Mother Superior.