VENI VIDI VINTAGE

This must be National Old Crap month for me. I have been enjoying the hell out of all the old books and photos and artworks I came across at my mom's house in Wisconsin, the Montgomery Wards 1979 catalog I found (with a Sears '80 to come!), and today, some vintage clothing I saved, fresh from a box in the piled garage. I do like to save some stuff, although I am not really a hoarder like Mom. Looking at a few of these items, I am glad I still have them, even if they are all wrinkled up and smell like dust and old.

This actually belonged to my Grandma Lizzie, who was born in 1892. I think this is pretty damn hip for a women who was then in her 70s to be wearing. She liked clothes, and was just a tiny lil thing. I think I might be able to get this on now, but would probably have to have it cut off to get out again.

This was a '60s Thai silk coat that I bought in the '80s, not sure if I got it at a rummage sale or a thrift shop. In any case, I loved the vibrant color. I wore it once to the San Diego Zoo.

This sweater dress was one of my all-time favorite vintage finds, and something I often wore to clubs in the late 70s/early '80s. I am pretty sure it came from a Chicago thrift shop. It's still in great shape.

Speaking of favorite club dresses from the same time period, this is perhaps the shortest minidress in the world. Note: the size listed on this circa 1966 or so dress says "12." Looking at it with a critical eye, today it would be called a size 4 or 6. Hmm. (Yes, that's me.)

You can buy '80s-wear like this in Target now.

I was explaining this 1983 height-of-fashion item to MissSeven today, to her amazement. I bought this Asian Transformer Garment at Aardvarks, I think, on Melrose Avenue in L.A. It's a jacket...

...but if you inside-out the sleeves and tuck them inside, it turns into a skirt! (What a blonde hair helmet I had.)

This little black wool dress was my mom's, and I think it was from the early '60s. Again, it says size 12, but it looks more like a 4 or 6 now. It's very skinny, and never looked right on me. My mom is skinny.

I loved this spangle-y '60s shirt, but it wasn't very practical; it was very heavy and hot to dance in, and hard to clean. But it's beautiful to look at.

Men's tab-collar shirts: a Stephen Sprouse from 1988 and vintage '60s overdyes.

More '80s-era metallic spangle wear, again a hard to clean thing without those little discs coming off. I remember Ray Davies told me he liked it, and I felt all special and smiley, like a big grinning goofball.

HA HA HA HA. Oh dear. This was a bridesmaids dress I had to wear. It flattered no one. I think Couch Teen wore it to school a few years ago on a dare. He's a funny guy.

And finally, the coolest item of the bunch: the MONKEES SHIRT! I nearly peed when I found this gem, in a Boys' size 18. I am guessing it's from 1966 or '67.

I think that photo was probably the last time I wore it, in the late '80s. I think it is more than due for a clubbing comeback now. Hey, Pavement? Flaming Lips? The Gories? Arcade Fire? Eels? Deerhunter? Vampire Weekend? Who wants to see a MONKEES SHIRT, hah? No fighting, boys and girls, line forms to the left.