BLOTTER 15

A small police blotter round-up this time, reminding you of the wonderful world out there filled with terrorizing ghosts, bears that might be stealing Marlboros, defiant bowling balls, and processed meat crime. Enjoy!

POLITE NAZI CRIME

Vandalism: At 8:12 a.m. a patrol officer found a vandalized white Ford Econoline van parked on the side of the road in the 8700 block of S.E. 44th Street. The van was tagged with swastikas and the phrase, “Sorry about your van,” in silver spray paint.

YEAH

Theft: At 10:13 a.m. a 52-year-old Mercer Island man reported that his laundry detergent was stolen. The man claimed to have started his first load of laundry in the apartment building laundry room, located in the 2500 block of 81st Avenue S.E. When he returned with his second load, the man’s small bottle of liquid detergent, bottle of Active X cleaner and box of Tide detergent were missing from the laundry room, where he had left them. The only other person whom he had seen wandering around the apartment complex was the manager, according to the report.

Suspicious: Police noticed a man lying on the ground inside a Northland Drive business around 4 p.m., Sept. 18. Officers spoke with the man who said that he was resting until the floors, which he had just mopped, dried.

Loose Property: A caller told Police that there was a random bowling ball resting on the sidewalk in front of a W. Liberty St. restaurant around 2 p.m., Oct. 8. An officer responded and took the unattended bowling ball into property. Apparently, someone got confused and bowled down the wrong type of alley.

Suspicious: Someone thought it was suspicious that a car was parked next to a grocery store in Lakeside.

HEY SUNDANCE, WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING

Vehicle Control Failure: Robert Redford, 21, of the City of Waukesha was cited for failure to have a vehicle under control, after his car struck the concrete median on Highway 16 at about 3:30 p.m. Oct. 3 and then hit a truck, which veered into the concrete median and then flipped over. According to the report, Redford's Lexus hit a Dodge Ram truck driven by Richard Porath, 46, of Milwaukee. Porath suffered a minor injury.

BET THE NEIGHBORS ARE HAPPY

Theft: Donald Flasch of 334 Park Hill Drive reported Sept. 22 that someone removed lawn ornaments, including a black globe, elf and rain gauge, from his patio.

HAPPY EARLY  HALLOWEEN!

Ghost Attack: A woman on Granger Road ran outside naked from the waist down yelling for a neighbor to call police because she was shot and then passed out. A rescue squad was called to the scene and found the woman unconscious and without any gunshot wounds. When she came to, she was in the emergency room at Medina General Hospital and claimed to have been attacked by ghosts. She refused medical treatment.

ROGUE OUTDOOR DRYER PROTESTS SCHOOL LEVY IN FIERY OURBURST

Property Damage: A Kenmore dryer, which had been placed for sale on a Cardinal Drive tree lawn, was set on fire by an unknown assailant sometime between midnight and 9 a.m., Oct. 9. Police believe the suspect used a cardboard Medina City Schools levy sign to start a fire in the drum of the dryer. No arrests have been made in the case.

RURAL ANIMAL CRIMES AND CONCERNS

A woman called in from West Valley Acres to say that she lost her ring a year ago. She thinks either her dog ate it or it was stolen.

Two horses were seen standing near a bridge on West Reserve. Someone called shortly after to report that one of the two horses was actually a mule.

Two other horses stood on Columbia Falls Stage Road.

Someone claimed they knew pit bulls were vicious in nature and therefore thought it best to call in and say they saw one.

There may be four adult pit bulls and nine puppies living in a fifth-wheel with their owners in Evergreen. This is not a crime.

A man on Sandy Hill Lane in Columbia Falls said that the rabbits his neighbors let loose a few years ago are now procreating in his yard.

Employees at an Evergeen drive-through restaurant called in complaining of a dog standing at the drive-up window.

Someone reported a black bear running down the Highway near the cigarette depot.

NO BOLOGNA

Vandalism: A Columbia Falls resident said someone gouged his truck with something sharp then threw a bunch of bologna all over his truck.

Vandalism: The father of the kid with the bologna all over his truck called in to make sure that the damage had been reported.

THE GREAT MYSTERY OF DEATH, SOLVED

Bad Odor: A Helena Flats resident called in to say there was a foul odor in the air and it smelled like "death." He was informed that the odor was the methane gas emitted from the silage across the street.

…and finally…

HEARTWARMING STORYBOOK TALES COME TO LIFE; POLICE CALLED

Trespass: Inspired by the tale of Goldilocks, a young woman was arrested last week after a family found her sleeping in their daughter’s bed. Mama and Papa Bear returned from doing laundry and Papa Bear headed back to one of his daughter’s rooms to drop off her clothes. He opened the door and noticed that someone other than his daughter was lying in the bed. When he asked her what she was doing, she “exhibited confusion.” Police came and transported the intruder to King County Jail. The boyfriend of an older daughter (it was the younger daughter’s room) mentioned that he had seen the suspect at the house earlier, but assumed she was a friend of the family.