THE ENGLISH WIKI

I think the English language should be like Wikipedia: it should always be added to and modified by anyone who uses it. Any word that provides good function should instantly be able to be in use without a formal nod from the National Society Of Snotty English Word Approvers. Our language is rich and hardy, with many totally unreasonable rules. It deserves a bit of a kick in the buttocks.

So, herein I will submit five new words to the new imaginary English Wiki for you to use freely in all dealings, conversations, and contracts.

1. inturgency (n-tûrjn-s) n.: pertaining to the state of a toilet receiving feces prior to flushing; "The inturgency was of such force and duration that it clogged the Kohler, necessitating a call to the plumber."

2. neveryday (nvr-d) adj.: a daily non-occurrence; "I exercise approximately neveryday without fail."

3. succinked (sk-sngkt) v.: the negative act of providing too little information; "The company fiscal year report Jared wrote was only one paragraph; he succinked himself out of a job because of it."

4. parentwork (pârnt'wûrk) n.: schoolwork sent home that will actually be done by parents and not their children; "Wow, that Mr. Robertson did a damn fine job with the 2nd Grace Science Fair parentwork! 1st Place!"

5. emoshunned (-mshnd) v.: rejection from peers for being too sadly dramatic; "Caitlin was emoshunned by most of her graduating class; her penchant for drawing pencil portraits of Morrissey, writing poems about vampires, and wearing black eyeliner that reached to the bottom of her nose was off-putting to the other youths."