LAWRENCE ELK

Driving along this afternoon on the rainy roads to collect the kids from school, I am stuck behind a somewhat-decrepit pickup truck with one of those crappy cabs on the bed. As we sit parked at a light, my eyes drift to a decal plastered on the back of the yellowed plastic cab window:

I see.

You know, I'm sure we'd all rather be doing something other than driving around in the gray and the wet muddy misty mess, sure. I know I would.

But what YOU are telling me, Mr. I'd Rather Be Elk Hunting, what YOU have so carefully chosen to express to your fellow drivers and/or human beings, what YOU feel so passionate about is that RATHER than ANY OTHER OF THE THOUSANDS OF ACTIVITIES AND/OR HOBBIES ONE COULD CHOOSE ON A DECAL AND/OR BUMPERSTICKER, YOUR pick is elk hunting.

MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD - ANYTHING!!! - what you would RATHER DO is equip yourself with a large weapon, go into the peaceful wilderness, and methodically stalk and then completely murder one of nature's magnificent and mostly-benign creatures. DO I HAVE THIS RIGHT? YES?

I see.

I'm not much one for plastering my valuable vehicle with my precious opinions and/or favored activities, but...well, it's tempting.