Sorry to be a couple hours late in posting today, but hey...when you are making vital public works such as the one that follows, sometimes this is the way it goes. Anyway, I'm sure that I have mentioned here that once upon a time back in the early '80s there was this garage punk band called the Performa-Chords. I just love them and own everything they ever did and even have all their airchecks from the wonderful independent radio station WORT-FM in Madison, WI. You've probably already figured that I myself was in this band along with my pals Dena and Kevin and whomever else was in the room at the time, and that our only performances were at house parties, and those houses were exclusively our own, with a guest list of just us. The Performa-Chords (named after a decrepit wheezing small electric organ I found at a rummage sale) had rules, which were:
1. Beer. Wine. Repeat. Ad Nauseum.
2. No member of the Performa-Chords need know how to sing nor play an instrument, but if you can that's OK too. All are welcome.
3. Anything may be used as an instrument, including, but not exclusively limited to: beer cans, wine bottles, ashtrays, slide whistles, jingle bells, aluminum foil sheets, cups, and cats.
4. ABSOLUTELY NO PRACTICING OR WORKING OUT ARRANGEMENTS OR WRITING LYRICS PRIOR TO RECORDING.
5. When a member pushes the tape record button and says, "GO!" you MUST begin to play or sing on the loosely-agreed-to song, cover or original. You may stop playing when someone says "STOP!" and halts recording. When you run out of tape, you are done.
6. THERE IS NO TAKE TWO. THERE IS NO EDITING.
7. If you have to throw up, go to the bathroom.
This is one of my favorite Performa-Chords tracks, called "Supermarket Breakdown," with lyrics and vocals by Dena, Kevin on electric guitar, and me on the P-C organ. I dunno, man, it makes a lot of sense to me, the lyrics...who hasn't had a supermarket breakdown, right? I've totally been in a Ralph's in L.A. that could've been the store in this song:
The meat was in the freezer
I couldn't find the stew
I was in the market
I didn't know what to do
I asked the cashier where it all went
She said, "Honey, we take drugs here."
Supermarket breakdown
I've got it bad
It's the supermarket breakdown
And I'm really sad
I went looking for some vegetables
I couldn't find them; they were on the floor
But the tomatoes were good, they were all squashed
I really was sad
I had the supermarket breakdown
It hurt me so bad
I had the supermarket breakdown
Oh, cats, I was sad
Oh, play.
I decided to make a video for it, because in 1981 there wasn't even MTV yet. Ponder that, kids.
"Supermarket Breakdown," The Performa-Chords
My goodness, we had a lot of fun, we really did. I hope someday you too can come and play with the Performa-Chords, and in the meantime watch out for the vegetables on the floor.
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman