I'm not often rendered speechless, but I came across a website a few days ago that so stunned me in its ridiculousness that I required some time to process what I had seen. Taken as a whole, it's hard to know whether to laugh or cry at stuarthughes.com which caters to the utter stupidity and crass wastefulness found in insane billionaire consumerists, but I'm going to choose the former response. My GOD. If there was ever, EVER, proof that one can be TOO RICH, it's that Liverpool-based (Liverpool? Really?) designer Stuart Hughes seems to be doing quite well by making the DUMBEST CRAP I HAVE EVER SEEN THAT SELLS FOR THE MOST MONEY. Here are a few of his horrific ugly-ass creations for your amusement.
Yes, you read this correctly, and no, it's not a joke. For a mere 8.14 MILLION DOLLARS, you can own this foolish gadget that will be technologically obsolete in MERE MONTHS. The "iPad 2 Gold History Edition" has 12.5 carats of flawless diamonds, 2000 grams of 24k gold, with a frame made of Ammolite, the oldest rock in the world, AND thigh-bone shavings of a a 65 million year old T Rex. WHY? WHY? Why plop 8 million + of THAT on a $500 piece of disposable pop electronics? If you think this is cool or would EVER think of owning it, you are incomprehensible to me. I demand RIGHT NOW that you give me your money. I'll find something better to do with it, which would be ALMOST ANYTHING.
Even worse is buying a bottle of D'Amalfi Limoncello and pasting 3 flawless fat diamonds on the neck, increasing its price by $43,999,983.00. This is surely the Official Drink of Lucifer. I'm waiting for Hughes' The-Real-Jesus-Christ-DNA-infused Heineken.
I have to laugh at this FAQ statement from Stuart Hughes on his site:
What makes Stuart Hughes designs stand out from other luxury items ?
Simple, his personal desire from day one to be utterly unique.
Stuart Hughes has been a world recognised designer for years now, a proclaimed designer and NOT a self proclaimed designer who sees it fitting to run to the nearest jewellers with the latest gadget to request diamonds putting in. Each and everyone of Stuart Hughes’s designs take months of planning before they go to production .
LOL! Dude, you are SO the "slap some diamonds on it" guy!! Cashmere wool and a custom tailor = not enough profit. PUT SOME DIAMONDS ON THAT SUIT! MUCH BETTER! This is just weird-looking. Nudie suits > this.
When I showed MissNine some of this stuff, she reasonably commented that she thought it was illegal for regular folks to own pieces of mammoths or dinosaurs. "I guess not," I responded, "but it should be." Instead of residing in a museum or a scientific research center and bettering humanity, these bits of mammoth tusk and dino bones are in a giant friggin' FISH TANK that will sit in the home of a filthy-rich showoff jerkball. Wow. GOLD IS SO CLASSI. My wish here is that after said jerkball pays $4.8 mil for this and gets it installed that the weight of the solid gold rips the wall to pieces and it comes down in a massive crash, causing a home tsunami of great devastation.
I cannot bear to go on, but you may of course continue your guffaws at Mr. Hughes' expense on his site if you like. I'm sure it doesn't bother him one bit. I'm waiting for vile Oprah to start gushing over him any day now.
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman