Yesterday, my oldest spawn, Couch Young Adult, excitedly came over to tell me that controversial British rap person M.I.A. had gone all rogue, not "Vogue" at Madonna's Superbowl halftime show/Vegas tripe extravaganza, and wanted to get my reaction. Ms. M.I.A., by extending her middle finger towards the live TV camera in what is universally known as an obscene gesture meaning "go have sexual relations with yourself," now is reaping the PR spoils of daring to do what might land your average 3rd grader in the principal's office for a stern talking-to.
"Pfffft," I pfffft-ed at Couch Young Adult, "That's not edgy. That's lame."
"What?!!?" He glanced at me with some surprise and irritation. "Yeah, well...you would have thought it was cool if the Clash had done it."
"Nah. I didn't like the Clash. Also, Joe Strummer was no working-class dude. He was the son of a diplomat, and hid it. Pfffft."
Further annoyed by me, my son continued. "OK, whatEVER. What if the SEX PISTOLS had done it?"
"Big deal. They were as manufactured a group as the Monkees. They got famous for trolling an old man on TV so they could say 'bollocks' or something."
At this point, he gave up trying to share this Rebellion Moment with me, and went back to watching the football game. I didn't really expect him to share my feelings -- he's young and full of his own birds -- but it was fun pissing him off. HA HA, Son.
Anyway, this all got me thinking this morning about THINGS EDGIER THAN M.I.A. FLIPPING OFF THE SUPERBOWL CAMERA, and here is my list of TEN:
1. At the very last possible second, changing out Madonna's wobbily Superbowl high-spike boots for Naturalizers, forcing her into publicly-sensible shoes.
2. As Clarence Thomas appears to begin to speak his first words in years in the Supreme Court, letting a huge, multi-second fart blast rip through the room.
3. Growing a beard and putting it in cornrows. If you are a girl.
4. Playing your mashup of Creed, Shirley Temple, and Kraftwerk to Brian Eno at a party while he's in the bathroom.
5. Paying your fair share of taxes AND running for President.
6. Taking a photo of your boss, whom you hate, turning them into stickers, and plastering them on Dumpsters all over the world.
7. Seeing-Eye Vole.
8. Asking M.I.A. if she feels "cool" now.
9. Developing an app which tells people if they are "cool" or not, and making a gazillion dollars off it.
10. Losing half your hearing and hair in a spectacularly stupid way, but still finishing out your comedy bit with Tommy Smothers.
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman