A BRIEF QUESTIONING OF "SANTA & JESUS" ART

I remember as a tiny girl trying to work out the concept of "Christmas." I would pepper my mother with questions as long as she could tolerate WHY WHY WHY BUT HOW AND THEN HOW before redirecting me to something less complex like a snack. It would go something like this:

So, what is Christmas? The celebration of Jesus' birth. 

So, it's like a birthday party but for someone who is dead? Well, yes, but he's not really dead. 

Why doesn't he come to his party then? Because he's in Heaven. 

Well, how is he supposed to get his cake and presents? We don't give Jesus presents and cake on Christmas. We give each other presents.

So, it's like a birthday party for us! No, no, no...we are thankful and generous like Jesus was.

Is Santa Jesus? Um, no.

Well, why does he give us presents on Christmas? He's a very nice man and wants to celebrate Christmas with us.

So, how does he fly all around the world in a single night with reindeer? It's special magic.

So, is Santa God? No.

Is Santa a superhero or a crime fighter? No.

Is Santa related to Jesus? No.

Do we celebrate all dead people on their birthdays with lots of presents? No, just Jesus.

Why don't we celebrate God's birthday and when is God's birthday? I...I...no one knows when God's birthday is or if he ever had a birthday.

How could anyone not have a birthday?? Because God isn't human like we are.

Then how come Jesus is a human and he's related to God? Because Jesus' mother was human.

So, God was married to Jesus' mom? No..I...well...no, she was married to Joseph.

Then how was she Jesus' mom if she wasn't married to God? Um...a miracle happened.
Is Miracle Whip made by God? Would you like some milk and cookies?

This went on with the questioning becoming more and more pointed until I was around five years old and I decided the whole lot was not making any sense whatsoever, but I still wanted to score on the present front. Santa and Jesus would be coming around at the end of each year no matter what I thought, the cheery, tubby secular toymaker vs. the holy and rather underweight Son 'O God.

Today, I'd like to share a few pieces of art that take on the idea of that Dynamic Duo of December, sometimes in a positive light, sometimes not.

There are a lot of these: Santa Kneeling At The Manger Of Baby Jesus. Now let's just think about this for a moment. Baby J was born two thousand years ago, right?  This particular Santa guy -- the overweight one with the jolliness and the beard and the red suit and the elves and reindeer and stuff -- really only dates back to 1823 when Clement C. Moore's "A Visit From St. Nicholas" was published. SANTA WASN'T AT THE BARN, PEOPLE! There probably wasn't even enough food to eat back then that would make anyone that fat, either.

This art installation by Robin Gurney called "Santa Cristo" really knocks the two stories over, eh? No one really wants to see nice Santa up on the cross, unless he forgot some spoiled kid's Xbox 360, I guess.

This is from a church ad, showing a chilled out hippie J-Man hanging out with a little dude, handing out candy canes, and getting ready to take Rudolph for a spin.

That's a really good-lookin' Mary who just gave birth to a tiny Santa. This is getting confusing.

There's those pesky timing problems again. SANTA WASN'T THERE THEN EITHER. And for that matter, IT WASN'T IN THE SNOWY WOODS.

And finally, hats off to this artist, even if just for including Domo-kun.