TEN THINGS I WILL NOT DO IN 2013

Thursday, January 10, 2013

It is January, 2013.

This is my 2,075th post here.

Whoa.

January is a good time to do a little future-looking, I guess, being that it is the turnover of my culture's annual calendar and I occasionally will buddy up to a tradition or two. I really loathe New Year's resolutions, though; no one keeps them because they end up feeling artificial and judge-y. I hardly need some friggin' resolution poking me in the head with a stick, even if that's exactly what I need. Yet I do feel like a little planning and a few goals are probably a good thing to strive toward. It's far too easy to not think at all and autopilot yourself straight to the grave. But rather than set the bar with high hopes and rusty hardware only to feel the familiar sting of totally avoidable failure (the worst kind), I think I shall focus on things I don't want to do in 2013. And it's more fun.

1. I will immediately stop watching any kind of television that makes me feel pissed off because it's so incredibly lame or stupid. I will leave the room, even if sunk down into a comfy chair.

2. I will engage in exactly NO conversations about Hollywood celebrities or sports figures, other than Betty White. No, not even Betty White. Done.

3. I will not dance in public, because it just looks so bad on anyone my age unless it's the waltz or the polka. I'm down with the polka.

4. I will not photograph nor attend shows I don't really want to be at.

5. I will not attend beekeeper school, any Scientology meetings, or the birth of Kanye West's kid, either.

6. I will not wear lederhosen.

7. I will not go to the post office at the last minute at Christmastime again. Please send me a reminder about this, Internet.

8. I will not wait as much for something. I will make more somethings myself, even if I have to go all Little Red Hen-ish.

9. I will not worry quite as much. It's a process.

10. I will not dump Popthomology for something that pays way more (which would be anything) but I don't love anywhere near as much.

So tomorrow is set. No crap TV, no pinheaded conversations about people I don't know or even like at all, no middle-age jiggling (in public) (unless it's the polka), no photographing Kid Rock, no change of career that involves insects, mind-control cults, or effin' Kanye West, no German cultural clothing, no slogging heavy packages, no slacking, no wringing my hands about things that aren't under my control, and no not writing post # 2076.