TEN WEIRD ITEMS FROM THE PORTAGE (WI.) ANTIQUES MALL!

I cannot get enough of people's weird old junk! And I mean "junk" as in knick-knacks and stuff, NOT "junk" as in "elderly genitals," let me make that SUPER CLEAR. Anyway, here's a few things I found in the Portage Antiques Mall as my annual trip to Wisconsin is coming to a close. Please to enjoy!


A cookbook about SALT. From an oil company. That doesn't appear to BE a book. But may be something that contains SALT. MY HEAD HURTS.


AIEEEE! WHERE ARE THE HANDS? WHERE ARE THE HANDS?????



ME TOO!!!!!!!


This ashtray would almost make it worthwhile to take up smoking.


Chicken overseeing Melted Caramel Ice Cream Lion.


WHOOO wants to shake salt and pepper out of owl skulls? Get in line!


Ineffectual high chair with pathetic baby doll trifecta.


SEVERE SARCASTIC ROLLEYES ALERT!


The bird in the background made me guffaw.


And finally, if you want to start your day pondering on the utter misery of human existence while enjoying a coffee, HAVE I GOT A MUG FOR YOU!