I can't remember a time in my life that wasn't just MUSICMUSICMUSIC. That's just the way I was born. My strong feelings for music and musicians went both ways, however -- when I was very young, I could love a band so much that my heart felt like it would explode in joy (The Beatles, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, The Yardbirds, etc.) or I could LOATHE THEM so much that I would have to turn off the radio or record player or actually get up and leave the room because I would start to feel physically sick. If you read here on the reg, you know all my fave raves (the above plus my beloved garage bands, old and new), but I don't think I've ever mentioned the bands I could not tolerate when I was a child. Please to enjoy!
1. Elvis Presley
It's true. I thought The King of Rock n' Roll was a old timer, hopelessly trapped in the decade before I was born, greasy, and comical. I learned how to do a pretty damn good over-the-top Elvis impersonation by the time I got to school. It wasn't until I was an adult that I got to appreciate the raw, early years of EP, and now I dig that cat. But then? All I knew of him was this tripe.
Elvis Presley, "Do The Clam," (1965)
2. The Grateful Dead
The Dead has always bothered me, and it doesn't take long before the meandering out-of-tune doodle fest starts to give me a headache. I would listen on the new FM radio and wonder HIPPIES,WHERE IS THE SONG HERE? Even now, I gotta turn it off. FAST.
The Grateful Dead, "Morning Dew," (196?)
3. Bob Dylan
I think it's no surprise that a little girl wouldn't exactly be into Dylan. I thought he had the worst voice I ever heard, seemed mad all the time, and his harmonica was too noisy. Also, I felt that his command that "everybody must get stoned" did not take in the preschool set, although I only knew "stoned" as how Dean Martin sometimes used the word to describe a drunken episode.
Bob Dylan, "Rainy Day Woman, #12 & 35" (1966)
4. Bobby Goldsboro
I thought he looked like the demon spawn of Mel Torme and sang like a goat. "Honey" pushed it over the edge. (A couple of years ago, I devoted an entire post to that nightmare.) I remember that and "Watchin' Scotty Grow" making me feel like my skin was crawling with biting ants while three thousand stale cupcakes were being forced down my throat. ICKY.
Bobby Goldsboro, "Watchin' Scotty Grow" (1970)
5. The Four Seasons
This is the very first band I can remember really disliking A LOT. Frankie Valli's signature falsetto hurt my ears. I can very distinctly remember covering my ears when any Four Seasons songs came on the radio, and this was probably prior to me turning two years old. I also remember asking my mom why he sang like that, and she replied, "The teenage girls like it." The Four Seasons made Elvis look like a Carnaby Street mod. I remain baffled.
The Four Seasons, "Big Girls Don't Cry" (1962)
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman