I MADE YOU TEN VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS (2014)

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VINTAGE VIRTUAL VACATION: PALM SPRINGS TOURISM VIDEO FROM THE FIFTIES!

As much of the ol' U.S. of A. suffers under an unusually-cruel cold snap (again), I thought I would provide you poor chilly children with some sweet mid-century desert heat, courtesy our pal YouTube. This Palm Springs, California tourism video from the 1950s is pretty slick, back in the days when the Rat Pack was hanging out on the weekends and Hoagy Carmichael might pick you up in his space-age golf cart to go shoot a few rounds before lunch. Also, I would like to note that the narrator pronounces the word "patio" as "potty-o," which is also how my folks said it, so that makes me smile.

Pull up a chair, set your space heater to "FRY," and please to enjoy!

1950s Palm Springs Tourism Video

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SEVENTEEN WEIRD ITEMS FROM THE VALUE VILLAGE IN WOODINVILLE, WA.!

Fortunately for me (and hopefully for you as well), I found some photos that Miss Eleven took on my phone from the last time we were at the thrift store before I Was Felled With Influenza. I now bring them to you, free of filthy infectious germs and misery, because this is the Internet. Please to enjoy!

"Fighting cocks" = "delicious hamburgers." Of course.

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TWENTY THINGS I DID INSTEAD OF WATCH THE GRAMMYS

1. Took a 10-min. power nap.

2. Sorted laundry.

3. Flipped through Facebook status updates.

4. Made a delicious drink of hot milk, honey, and a splash of spiced rum.

5. Then I drank it all up.

6. Processed some photos.

7. Thought about vacation spots I'd like to go to and looked at rental houses and decided on nothing.

8. Took a long soaky bath in Ahava Eucalyptus bath salts.

9. Looked up the value of my "Pebbles Vol. 3" LP (which seems to be about 20-25 bucks, nice).

10. Thought about how I wouldn't like the Grammys any better even if every nominee were made up of my favorite artists.

11. Liked some photos on Instagram.

12. Pet the dog.

13. Fretted that it's going to be really, really cold again at my mom's house.

14. Coughed for awhile.

15. Wondered if Liberace really did swear a lot in real life.

16. Threw some old papers in the recycling bin.

17. Listened to two new Dead Weather songs; did not like.

18. Located vitamins for Mr22.

19. Blew my nose.

20. Wrote this post.

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CELEBRITY SUNTORY WHISKEY COMMERCIALS FROM JAPAN!

Speaking as a bo-nah-fied Amurrican myself, I think it's not until you get a chance to leave the United States that you can get an idea of how pervasive American culture and influence is across the globe -- welcomed or not by our brethren abroad. We are somehow larger than life, with all our good and bad points hyper-accentuated. Japanese brewers/distillers Suntory decided to harness the powerful Euro-American image to sell alkie-haul back in the 1970s, and began to feature non-Asian celebs in their commercials. The paychecks were tremendous and exposure limited to Japan (remember, this was pre-internet and pre-cable, so what was made in Japan, stayed in Japan). Some notables that wouldn't be caught dead flogging products in the U.S. could safely sell out in Asia and rest on a nicely-yen-stuffed futon for awhile, rather than taking on the role of Lt. Professor Chud Broadbacke in "Revenge of the Planet Of The Ape-Like Things That Are Not Apes" to pay the mortgage on that Sunset Boulevard party palace. If you've seen the film "Lost In Translation," you may already be familiar with the concept.

Today, I will bring you a few of these Suntory commercials featuring some quite famous folks. Some that aren't even quite American, too. Please to enjoy.

This is my favorite, because it's Sammy Davis, Jr. and The Sam Man rules. I miss him.

Suntory Whiskey - Sammy Davis, Jr.

Man, I wish someone would pay ME to take a slug of whiskey and raise my eyebrow, although I fully realize that I do not have the same élan as Bond.

Suntory Whiskey - Sean Connery

In which Keanu looks confused (duh), stumbles around in the shadows, and washes it all down with Suntory.

Suntory Whiskey - Keanu Reeves



Of course, the Japanese are infamous for creating some of the weirdest commercials ever made, and this one featuring Duran Duran has got to be one of them. The band is made to look like giant bobble-heads performing to the creepiest doll audience ever. I have no idea how this sells whiskey to anyone. Maybe the Japanese porcelain doll collector/Duranny subsection of the population really loves whiskey.

Suntory Whiskey - Duran Duran



Actor Peter Falk as all-knowing bartender, drinking on the job.

Suntory Whiskey - Peter Falk



Actor Mickey Rourke does even less than Sean Connery! Gulp and nod and OUT!

Suntory Whiskey - Mickey Rourke



Actor Lee van Cleef tells a rambling story about friends, which is something people who drink whiskey tend to do.

Suntory Whiskey - Lee van Cleef



And finally, I don't think I like this with Ray Charles with a wind-up key in his back. I am raising my eyebrow.

Suntory Whiskey - Ray Charles

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SINGLE REVIEW: ME AND LIZA BY RUFUS WAINWRIGHT

Earlier today I contacted Marianne to see if she had bounced back from the flu sufficiently to resume her blogging duties today. She reassured me that she was just fine, then she said Liberace had just made her a mango peach smoothie and was rubbing her feet. When she said she had to go because Liberace was dangling snacks over her head and chanting, You must have a Cheetoh, you must have a Cheetoh, you must have a Cheetoh, I said I thought maybe it was best if she rested a little bit longer. Guest blogging for Marianne one more time and perhaps raising a small controversy in the process, this is The Dena.

We all crave love and approval, even (especially) Rufus Wainwright. I don’t have the hard facts before me to confirm it, but I would venture a guess that he more than likely sold out every performance of Rufus! Rufus! Rufus!, his excellent Judy Garland tribute. It so happens that Liza Minnelli, who is 67, has made no secret of her disdain for both Rufus and Rufus! Rufus! Rufus! Not content to amend one of Judy’s song titles to “The Bitch That Got Away” in his onstage patter in shows from here to Australia, Rufus has now issued a new single called “Me and “Liza,” to be included on his new Best Of collection. At first listen it somehow manages to come across as both vindictive and forgettable, leaving me with no compelling reason to find out how it comes across at second listen.

To be completely fair, Rufus and I have been heading in different directions for some time. There was the time when I refused to pay $80 to see him perform a solo show at the Old Town School last year when I had paid just half of that to see his father do a killer show at the same venue. As a longtime fan who already owned a lot of the content, I was also put off by the apparent cash grab represented by the ostentatious House of Rufus package released in 2012, which contained unreleased material available to only those fans who could afford to spend $150 for a fancy velvet box and a lot of CDs and DVDs they already owned. Rufus never puts on a bad show, but I’ve been waiting since 2007 for an album as good as Release the Stars. It’s a damn good thing I wasn’t waiting underwater, because I would have been glug glug glug.

For every Rufus person who is digging “Me and Liza,” there are five of us who rolled our eyes when we first heard what this single would be called. The subject matter has become so awkward by this point that it is difficult for many of us to understand why Rufus seems so desperate to attach his name to someone who seems not to want anything to do with him. It is also difficult to understand the need for more Rufus repackaging, except that by sneaking this inferior revenge ditty in alongside some of his truly great material, Rufus can prominently give Liza the finger from now until the end of time.

I want Rufus to do well and I still think he’s hella talented, but I also think he’s lost perspective and no longer understands his audience. Before he starts releasing retooled versions of Broadway show tunes with titles like “Me and Me, But Mostly Me,” I think he needs to drop out of society and hike through Europe for a year or volunteer in a hospice or write a novel that is allowed to contain any word that is not me or I. Alternatively, he can just keep on traipsing down the path of perdition while I keep revisiting the extensive Mekons catalog on Spotify and waiting for the next great unknown artist who can move and transport me the way Rufus Wainwright used to do.

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MOVIE REVIEW: "BEAUTIFUL DARLING" SHOWS THE WARHOL SUPERSTAR IN HER BEST LIGHT

This is Marianne's pal Dena, still wandering around in the 1970s whilst Marianne battles the flu. I am hoping very much that she will feel better soon, but in the meantime I will sneak in here every now and then and throw you a Dena-bone. I hope that's okay with you, not that you have any damn choice.

One of the best things about being old in these millennial times is that Netflix never ceases to seem like a miracle that makes me want to exclaim, "LOOKY HERE, JEB, I CAN BEAM ALL OF THESE MOVIES RIGHT INTO MY LIVING ROOM AND MY INTERNET MACHINE! BOB IS GOOD!" I don't even know anybody named Jeb, but when I find out a first-rate documentary like Beautiful Darling is available for me to watch on Netflix, I am genuinely grateful. I am also genuinely grateful to have the opportunity to recommend this film to Popthomology readers, because it provides not only the expected entertainment in the form of clips of the Warhol Superstar in her prime and many interviews with her flamboyant bohemian contemporaries, but also quite a few unexpectedly poignant insights into the obstacles and prejudices that confront transgender people, even the superstars.

Directed by James Rasin, Beautiful Darling skillfully weaves together film clips, past and present interview footage of Darling and her fabulous friends, and scenes that depict Jeremiah Newton managing Darling's estate and arranging her interment. Newton, who produced the film and narrates, was Candy Darling's best friend and greatest admirer. Shown in old footage as a slender young man with long hair who must have fit right in at the Warhol Factory, Newton is now stocky and walks with a cane. He has devoted himself to preserving Candy Darling's legacy, at least as much of it as he could protect from being destroyed by her trans-phobic mother. For that alone, we should thank him.

Beautiful Darling would be worth watching for the Warhol-era film clips of Darling alone, and there are quite an abundance of them. What distinguished Candy Darling from her co-Superstars Jackie Cooper and Holly Woodlawn was that she presented herself so convincingly as female that some people just assumed she was born to the gender and others found it physically uncomfortable to be around her. Her attorney admits that after he saw Darling removing her makeup he went outside and vomited, but at least he has enough sense to seem sheepish about this. Appearing early in the film, the anecdote serves as a brutally honest reminder of just how hard it it still is for so many transgender people to just be accepted for themselves.

There are theoretically almost as many ways to manifest gender as there are human beings, and yet someone like Candy Darling who chose not to have gender reassignment surgery but who presented as female is unlikely to have achieved even so much as her scant fifteen minutes of stardom without her brief tenure as Andy Warhol's muse and her performances in such films as Flesh and Women in Revolt. Since Warhol liked to let his Superstars do most of the talking for him, this meant Candy got a lot of exposure and the occasional meal for her efforts. Stardust won't pay your rent, however, and Candy Darling never rose above poverty despite her obvious talent and screen presence. It is no surprise that Andy Warhol never gave Darling or any other of his Superstars more than a pittance for their work, but it is still sad and disappointing to hear how Warhol dropped her like a hot potato when he decided "chicks with dicks" were last year's model.

Beautiful Darling places Candy Darling's Warhol years in context, a brief flash of fame bookended by rejection in her childhood and teen years on one end and early death from (possibly estrogen-induced) lymphoma on the other. By telling her full story and allowing Candy Darling to speak for herself via letters and diary entries that reveal her as more perceptive and intelligent than the people who rejected and exploited her, James Rasin and Jeremiah Newton have done her a far greater credit than if they had simply collected her best clips. That film would have entertained, but this one both illuminates Candy Darling as an individual of exceptional star quality and charisma and challenges the viewer to give more thought to what it means to live as a transgender person in a binary world.

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HOW TO BE A GROUPIE IN FIVE ISSUES OR LESS

This is Marianne's pal Dena, just keeping Marianne's spot warm and dropping off some prime reading material for you to peruse. Marianne is unable to visit thrift shops to take pictures of weird record covers or even to sit up at the moment, which means her children are eating all the food. Please send her your warmest healing wishes, preferably accompanied by a large pot of chicken soup.

You may find it surprising that there was once a how-to magazine for teenage girls who aspired to be groupies, but the 1970s were a strange and wondrous time. Star only lasted for five issues in 1973 before it was discontinued, but the amazing thing was that it existed at all. Published in the heyday of Rodney's English Disco, Star featured photos and interviews of all the notorious LA groupies, most of whom were completely underage. Everything and everyone was "foxy," and the platforms heels were as high as the shorts were short. Star was every parent's nightmare, which is why it was far too good to last. 

Ryan Richardson has managed to collect and scan all five issues of Star, so if you have never before read this inspiring periodical, you are in for a treat . The pages are watermarked to prevent theft, but the image quality is very good and you even get a satisfying "swoosh" sound when you turn a page. If you ever see copies of Star at a garage sale for cheap, I suggest you snap them right up and send them to yours truly. In the meantime, this will do nicely.

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FAN VID: "BEER PIÑATA" BY THE TRAPS (CASTLE FACE RECORDS, 2014)

You know what I like? I like thinking. I like thinking about stuff and things a lot.

You know what else I like? I like not thinking at all, and just nodding my head and stomping my feet and moving around like a demented marionette to loud, dirty, and extremely basic garage rock. Oh, yes I do, and today is one of those days, folks! Won't you join me?

I was inspired to make this little found footage video after hearing The Traps, a band that was active in the Providence, Rhode Island area around ten years ago. I would never have known about The Traps' noise punk party if not for their ol' pal John Dwyer, best known as Thee Oh Sees' frontman. He dug out these crunchy, lowest-fi recordings of The Traps and is now bringing the band to international attention by releasing "Boom Pow Awesome Wow" on his own Castle Face Records on January 28, 2014.

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SIX FAMOUS MUSIC COPYRIGHT LAWSUITS, AS INTERPRETED BY POORLY-DONE PHOTOSHOPS

1. Bright Tunes Music Corp. v. Harrisongs Music, Ltd., 420 F.Supp. 177 (1976)

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HAIKUS FOR "MY POWER IS OUT AND I BAILED TO A HOTEL" NIGHT

Electricity
Is not in any way at
All, overrated.

To lose it at the
Seahawks kickoff made people
Very unhappy.

We went bowling and
Then went out for pizza and
Bought some batteries.

The firefighter
Blocking our street said, "Yeah, don't
Hold your breath, ha ha."

We watched "The Simpsons"
With the last bit of power
On my laptop, cold.

My daughter's nose is
Starting to run and she feels
Lousy, as do I.

Mid-priced hotel here!
We are coming for you now!
A warm sleep, TV.

After turning off
The a/c, a warm sleep, yes
With roaring traffic.

With the people next
Door slamming their door maybe
Thirty times, all night.

With my daughter, sad
Snotty nose, wanting Mom to
Make it all better.

A warm rest -- not sleep--
Was more accurate, but at
Least there was TV.

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"MISTAKES" -- A STUNNING, HEARTBREAKING PSA FROM NEW ZEALAND THAT YOU MUST SEE

A new PSA video from the New Zealand transport agency, quickly going viral now, is less than a minute long, but once you view it, you will never forget it. When I came by it today on Facebook, I was very emotionally affected by it. Go ahead and watch it, please, and then I will tell you why it made me cry.

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ACTING! HERE'S THE FIRST FILM FROM DAVID BOWIE AND THE LAST ONE FROM ELVIS PRESLEY!

In honor of the shared birthday (January 8th) of two of rock music's most icon-y icons of all time and space, David Bowie and Elvis Presley, today I bring you a little something special. It just so happens that both Bowie and Presley spent significant time in their entertainment careers as actors, and it just so happens that Bowie's very first appearance as a film actor and Presley's very last both took place in the year of 1969. It also just so happens that Bowie in the short "The Image" plays an mute and menacing zombie/schizophrenic hallucination, and Presley in "A Change of Habit" plays a ghetto physician who falls in love with a nun played by Mary Tyler Moore, and all that just so happens to be awesome! I don't know what more you'd ever want, really.

So please to enjoy the beginning and end, the black-and-white and the color, the rated "X" (yes, really, back then) and the rated "G," the evil and the divine, and the mod and the rocker!

"The Image," starring David Bowie, Michael Byrne, dir. Michael Armstrong (1969, UK)



"A Change of Habit," starring Elvis Presley, Mary Tyler Moore, dir. William A. Graham (1969, US)

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I MADE YOU A "POLAR VORTEX" WINTER IDIOM GRAPHIC

Right now, almost all of the United States is suffering through an unusually-brutal cold weather blast (for instance, right now at my mom's house in Wisconsin it is -18F without the wind chill calculated). But since I am lounging around at 43F, I have the mild climate luxury to create a helpful idiom graphic for the millions of citizens and hapless news reporters who have exhausted their abilities to describe just how cold it really is out there. It's easy to use: just go to the first bubble, pick a word, then follow the arrow to "AS A," then follow the next arrow and choose another word, then follow one last arrow and pick one more word to finish your new phrase, like "Cold as a Disney™ executive's heart," or "Bitter as a wizard's gonads." You can play with the combinations for hours, and you may well be, since you are probably stuck at home with frozen pipes anyway. Please to enjoy!

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PHOTOS & SHOW REVIEW: THE SPITS, SEX CRIME, AND WIMPS @ CHOP SUEY, SEATTLE 1/3/14

After a good two weeks of utter holiday slothdom, I was more than ready to gear up for a solid night of Pac NW punk rock, as it clears out the candy canes, chocolate Santas, and gallons of spiked eggnog that come with December really, really well for me. Chop Suey hosts so many fun gigs, and the place was sold out, packed with other reprobates, sweethearts, pro wrestlers, and merrymakers of all ages. All ages except under 21, that is.

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RIP PHIL EVERLY (1939-2014)

It is said that to seek perfection in any human endeavor is a futile quest -- that people are flawed and inconsistent by nature, and although we can achieve greatness, we shouldn't hope to to attain perfection.

But I don't think that is true. Just listen to anything of the recorded work of the Everly Brothers. On any measure that we have, in precision, clarity, warmth, skill, and emotional resonance, the vocal harmonies of Phil and Don Everly are perfect. Not damn near perfect...perfect.

Breathtakingly beautiful, haunting, sweet, clever, the brothers seemed to effortlessly sing in complete sync, floating and diving, swinging and soaring, tied together not only by blood but genius musical gifts. They were born to sing, and their influence is profound. I think any one of the Beatles would tell you that their early sound was based strongly on Everly Brothers-style harmonies, and that their music would not have succeeded as it did without it. Go back and listen to "Please Please Me," "She Loves You," "I Saw Her Standing There," anything from the Beatles' '62-'65 catalogue. It's there.

My heart is very heavy tonight. Phil Everly died today of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease at age 74. He was a lifelong smoker. I hope he knew how much his music meant to people and how very, very extrordinary he was. We were so lucky to have been able to hear something that was so lovely, so good for the spirit.

The Life and Times of the Everly Brothers documentary

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HEY YOU GUYS! CHECK OUT THE VIDEO I EDITED FOR MICHAEL DES BARRES' NEW SONG "2014!"

I couldn't be happier to tell you how I spent the very first day of 2014, which was creating and editing this found footage video for the Marquis Himself: multi-talented actor, musician, and all-around bon vivant Michael Des Barres! The song, written, arranged, and produced by De Barres and Jeremy Little, is by amazing cosmic coincidence entitled "2014," and is a glam-poppy, drum-thumpin' call to cast off your glowing screens and dance, with little hints of "Jean Genie" and friendly anarchy-for-humanity in the air. To quote another talented British musician, "war is over, if you want it," and 2014 is absolutely what you make it. So dig it!

Many televisions were sacrificed in the assemblage of this video, with some help from those legendary professionals, Messrs. K. Moon and K. Richards. "2014" is from Michael Des Barres upcoming EP, "Solutionism," and you can go HERE to purchase the track NOW, and you can go HERE to read more about all the cool things he's doing!

Thanks to MDB and Kitty Page -- I had a blast with this!

Michael Des Barres, "2014"

(Des Barres/Little)

TV IN YOUR ROOM A GLOBAL CAMP FIRE 
STRUNG OUT IN WONDERLAND 
ON THE HIGH WIRE 
CENTER STAGE FOR THE LONELY FLOWER 
HERE COMES YOUR HIDDEN POWER 
TALK TO ME 
POWER 
LOOK AT ME 
POWER 

2014... 2014 
A CHANGE IS COMING IN 2014 
2014... 2014 A CHANGE IS COMING IN 2014 

YOU CRY FOR ATTENTION 
YOU SLEEP IN THE CORNER 
YOU DEMAND PROTECTION 
FROM THOSE WHO WARNED YA 
I SEE YOU JUMPING 
INTO THE FIRE 
I SEE YOU STUMBLING 
ON THE WATER 
TALK TO ME 
WATER 

LOOK AT ME 
WATER

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TWENTY-TWO WEIRD RECORD COVERS FROM THE GOODWILL AND VALUE VILLAGE THRIFT STORES IN EDMONDS, WA.!

My pal Deb and I made a run up to lovely Edmonds, Washington to visit a couple of sweet thrifters in the last hours of 2013. Not ONLY did I get a new puffy winter jacket for ten bucks, GUESS WHAT? There were MORE weird record albums to find! Oh, The Past...you so wacky! Please to enjoy, and Happy New Year!

Do you wonder, sometimes, if everyone back then was just HIGH?

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