As a regular stalker of thrift shops for the unusual and amusing, I have come to a conclusion: the expressions on many, if not most, animal, human, or inanimate object vintage knick-knacks, toys, and mass-market art are straight-up bizarre. I am fascinated by the original intent from whatever labor slave created them in some sad factory line...did they mean for them to look that way, or were they unskilled in facial representation art, or unaware or...? I don't know. I do know these make me laugh. I've grouped a few for you from my latest forays here in Washington State. Please to enjoy!
Grey cat is not having it from the Siamese. Not at all.
Striped cat is almost vibrating off his stripes with fury.
Bambi getting ready to murder Teddy.
2. TERRIFIED
Mr. Bear has apparently witnessed the Apocalypse.
The pig knows the Money Retrieval Hammer of Death is looming.
Bear Jr. has PTSD.
Everything is frightening. EVERYTHING.
3. SUSPICIOUS
Mr. Cat trusts no one.
Rover doesn't buy your excuses.
Caterpillar knows it heard something. Can't you hear that? CAN'T YOU????
Duckling is ready to bail on these weirdos.
Mother Coyote WILL NOT REST.
4. DRUNK/HIGH
Two words: legal weed.
Mr. Bear, having witnessed the Apocalypse, begins drinking heavily.
Banana Clown gets a DUI.
Bugs getting ready to insult everyone and then stagger back to his hole after closing the bar with Daffy.
5. SUSPICIOUSLY HAPPY
Ass laughing at Bugs insulting everyone.
Disingenuous Turkey is all "bless your heart!" but we know she's really saying "gol darn y'all are as dumb as chickens."
Farmer gleeful about plowing the remains into the back forty, muah ha ha.
Humpty Dumpty, blissfully ignorant of his destiny.
Gold Clown smiles bravely even when, ala "Goldfinger," he is suffocating to death from all that gold paint.
Happy despite a lack of pants and appreciable penis.
Happy despite desperate facial malformation and being a clown.
Happy because of naked party girl in room.
6. SUSPICIOUSLY SAD
So crushingly bereft at being forced to wear clothes and dancing for pennies, her face is frozen into passive misery.
All of Kurt Cobain's troubles stemmed from his teenage clown years.
And finally,
7. PSYCHOTIC
© Copyright 2008- Marianne Spellman